


Not a Barry Good Idea

by LtReginaBarclay



Series: Cloudy with a Chance of Marvel [2]
Category: Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack, Creature Death, Gen, Hospitalization, Needles, Science Experiments, gone wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2015-09-19
Packaged: 2018-04-21 12:15:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4828796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LtReginaBarclay/pseuds/LtReginaBarclay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony promised not to try any more of Flint's experiments, but one has been growing in his lab forgotten.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not a Barry Good Idea

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ihateallergies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ihateallergies/gifts).



> It's been almost a year since I promised a sequel. This one got lost in the limbo of editing, but it's here at last! My thanks to the most wonderful awanderingmuse as always for her beta read, and to Ihateallergies for the prompt and ideas! I hope you enjoy it, I sort of realized I may not have written Barry quite how you imagined... I was in a Halloween mood?

“Tony, what are you doing here?” Pepper asked exasperatedly.

“I can’t just drop by my old office and visit?” he asked. Trying to maintain a look of innocence he knew alreadyshe wouldn’t buy.

“The last time you dropped by—in fact one of the only times I saw you _in_ this office, your arc reactor was malfunctioning. I have an important meeting that starts in ten minutes and about a thousand things to do before I can come home tonight. So, unless you’re here to tell me you’re dying again, I need you to leave.”

“You know, sometimes I think you work too hard.” Tony put his feet up on her desk. “I was CEO for years and I was never this stressed.”

“That’s because I was doing your job, Tony.” she said, standing up and pushing his feet off the desk’s pristine glass surface.

“See, it’s because of all that hard work and everything you have to put up with that I’m here.” he said.

Pepper put her head in her hands. “Oh god Tony, I thought we’d agreed that you’d stop trying to surprise me with gifts. If it’s another giant rabbit plushie, or a…”

“No. No more giant rabbits. I learned my lesson!” he interrupted. “It’s much better this time. See? Bring it in!” he called out to the hallway.

A Stark Industries employee entered with a cardboard box a foot tall and attempted to hand it to Tony.

“Sorry, no, I have a thing. Put it here.” he patted the chair beside him. “Thanks.”

 “So, do you want to open it or shall I?” he wiggled his eyebrows at Pepper.

“Tony…”

“Right, I will.” he opened the box and spoke to it. “It’s alright, you can come out now little buddy. It’s just Pepper and me.”

Pepper looked horrified, “You got me a _pet_?”

“Not just any kind of pet Peps, here.” he reached into the box and brought out a large, shivering strawberry.

“What is that?!” she said, her voice shrill.

The berry turned around and pushed itself into Tony’s shirt.

“Aw Pepper, you scared him! Come on Barry, say hello.” he pet the leafy top and turned the berry around.

Pepper saw that the berry stood on little leafy limbs, with another two wrapped over its body.She watched them slowly lower, and sat in shock as two large green eyes opened to look at her.

“Barry, this is Pepper Potts.” Tony introduced her.

“Pepas.” Barry repeated.

“A sentient strawberry?! Tony are you insane?!”

“I thought you might like some company! Barry doesn’t talk much, I thought you might like that about him.”

“Tony I- I wouldn’t even have time to care for a fish. I’m trying to run a company. And I’m _allergic_ to strawberries.” she said in a tired voice.

“Damn, I always forget the connection between you and strawberries…” he mused. “Ok, I’ll take Barry home alright? Don’t be stressed by me Peps! Back in the box Barry!” Tony kissed her across the desk. “You’ll be great Peps, you always are.”

* * *

 

“Tony!” Pepper yelled from her closet.

“Tony Stark is not within speaking distance Ms. Potts, shall I tell him you wish to speak with him?” JARVIS asked.

“No, thank you JARVIS. He’s in his lab?”

“Indeed, Ms. Potts.” the AI replied.

“Right.” Pepper muttered as she headed down to Tony’s lab.

Tony was too involved in his holographic model to notice Pepper punching in the code to his lab, and striding in with fire in her eyes. But Bruce saw her, and shrank into his chair with widened eyes.

“Um, Tony?” Bruce tried to get his attention over his enthusiastic explanation.

But it wasn’t until the clatter of expensive stilettoes hit one of Tony’s workbenches that he turned around.

“Strawberry.” She said.

“I- What?” Tony snapped out of his concentration on his project.

“Strawberry. Jam, by the look of it. On my favourite pair of Louboutin heels.” she pointed at the shoes she’d dropped on the table, where the iconic red soles were covered in a gooey pink substance.

“Well, that’s… unexpected. Barry never did that in the movie.” he said.

“The movie? This is another one of your wacky Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs science experiments gone wild?!” Pepper barely refrained from shrieking.

“Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs _Two_.” Tony corrected.

“I thought, that Director Fury and I had made it _very clear_ that we didn’t want to see any more projects from kids movies that hadn’t been thought through and approved by Dr. Banner.”

Bruce looked horrified, “Pepper I swear…”

“I don’t blame you Bruce!” Pepper assured him. “I’m quite sure this was something Tony cooked up one night after no sleep and ten cups too many of coffee. The _real_ question, is why he didn’t terminate this project once he’d slept and smartened up a bit.”

“Well to be honest, I sort of forgot about it?” Tony looked somewhat sheepish. “I really was rather out of it.”

* * *

 

It was early enough in the morning that only Bruce, Natasha, and Thor were awake to share the breakfast table with Pepper. A much quieter affair than the meals that happened once Steve was back from his morning run, and Tony and Clint were awake. Even the usually loud god of thunder was mellow at this time of day, content to smile out at the sunrise and munch on poptarts.

They were relaxed enough that even Natasha didn’t hear the soft sound of leaves crossing the kitchen floor. Not until Barry was tugging at her clothes.

“This strawberry’s sneaky. You hungry little guy?” She looked around the table. “What do strawberries even eat?”

“Tony didn’t mention…” Pepper said, then she sighed and rolled her eyes. “He probably has no idea.”

“Maybe he just needs water and sunlight?” Bruce proposed. “He might have retained the ability to photosynthesize, but I haven’t got anywhere near that far in my research yet. I’m still going over the footage JARVIS provided to figure out how Tony even made him.”

Barry bounced over and looked up at Pepper with his big, green eyes.

“Can you tell us what you eat?” She asked him.

Barry held her eyes. “Pepas.”

With no warning, the strawberry opened its mouth as widely as possible, and latched on to Pepper’s arm. She shrieked and leapt to her feet, the present Avengers just a moment behind her. Pepper shook her arm violently, but couldn’t dislodge the strawberry she could feel trying to chew into her flesh without teeth.

“Hold still Pepper!” Natasha ordered. The CEO froze, letting Natasha get a grip on Barry’s mouth and forcing him to release the arm. She shoved him away, but the strawberry seemed enraged and launched himself back at Pepper.

Natasha pulled Pepper out of Barry’s trajectory, where he was met by Thor wielding Mjolnir. With a single blow, nothing was left but a crater in the kitchen floor, and a large quantity of strawberry jam.

Bruce was already kneeling at Pepper’s side examining her swelling red arm when she started to wheeze.

“JARVIS! Where’s the nearest EpiPen?” He asked.

“First aid kit, in the bottom cabinet nearest the east door sir.” The AI replied. Natasha was already up to fetch it.“I have alerted Mr. Stark, and Mr. Barton is readying the emergency vehicle.” JARVIS added.

“Good. Hear that Pepper? Everything is going to be fine.” Bruce told her, pulling the blue tab on the EpiPen and pressing it into her thigh. “Anaphylactic reaction to the strawberry bite. You should start to breathe easier, but you might feel your heart speed up.”

He nodded to Thor, who gently lifted a limp and clammy Pepper and led the way to the elevator.

* * *

 

Tony had kept up a steam of apologies on their way to SHIELD until Bruce asked him to quiet down and let him work and her rest. After that Tony kept his mouth shut and his hands tight around Pepper’s unbitten hand while Bruce cleaned off the strawberry juices and monitored her heart and breathing.

Natasha carried Pepper into medical, where nurses quickly hooked her up to monitoring devices and gave her an oxygen mask while Bruce gave a quick overview of the events surrounding Pepper’s anaphylaxis and his emergency treatment.

One of SHIELD’s doctors turned to Pepper, “Have you had an anaphylactic reaction to strawberries before?”

“Only once as a child, and only because I’d eaten them. Just touching strawberries the worst I should get is a rash.” Pepper answered, and went back to breathing the pure oxygen.

“And how are you feeling now?”

Pepper closed her eyes, “I can breathe again, but I feel… exhausted. Completely wrung-out.”

“Well, Doctor Banner was quick with his response so you should be fine. But since we know very little about this… strawberry creature,” she shot a look at a very guilty-looking Tony Stark, “and why your reaction was so extreme, we’ll keep you here for observation. Perhaps until Doctor Banner has had a chance to analyze theremains.”

Bruce nodded, “I’ll compare a sample from today against the one I was working with before as well, perhaps that will shed more light on what changed Barry.”

* * *

 

In Avengers Tower the strawberry jelly splattered around the kitchen began to pulsate—slowly at first, and then more quickly. The blobs that had spread out along the floor on impact, began to shrink at the edges. Forming into wiggly spheres, they rolled towards the crater formed by Mjolnir where the bulk of Barry’s remains were moving.

The jam slunk out of its hole, and moved towards a vent. Taking pieces of shredded leaves with it, and leaving behind a trail of pink slime.

DUM-E rolled into the kitchen and began mopping up as requested. But in the vent a new creature was taking shape. A strawberry with seeping wounds and mangled eyes, razor edged leaves sticking out from all over. No smile on this creature’s face, just a gaping maw to exact its revenge.

* * *

 

Tony was still by Pepper’s bedside when Bruce returned hours later with his analysis. Say what you would about the billionaire, he really did love her now.However dangerous his experiments got… Bruce stopped to breathe for a minute to get himself under control before he walked the rest of the way to Pepper’s bed.

“Gamma radiation.” Bruce’s voice was tight. “What were you thinking?!”

Tony’s face blanched, “Is that what I used?”

“The strawberry DNA was damaged and mutated, in ways- not dissimilar to my own.” Bruce choked out. “The damage continued through each cycle of mitosis, with the later sample showing higher levels of cellular dysfunction as a result of cumulative DNA errors. And some of the DNA- what did you add in there, some kind of primate code? I don’t know whose lab you raided for this stuff but you need to lock yourself out if you aren’t mindful enough to use it properly.”

“Pepper… I’m so sorry.” Tony looked genuinely upset to have hurt her. “And you too Bruce, I’d bet some of it came from your lab.”

“You know, it’s rare you see him give any kind of genuine apology.” Pepper said to Bruce. “I’d take this in while you can.”

Her smile turned serious as she looked to Tony. “Now, are you finally going to include an update to JARVIS that locks you out of all labs and computers if he deems you incompetent?”

“Pep, I created an evil strawberry creature with radiation and gene splicing while I was too tired to remember even doing it. I could put together an override in-“

“How fast?” Pepper interrupted Tony.

“How fast?” He asked confused.

“How fast can you code an overwrite of high-security programming?” She clarified. “Add a fail-safe. Make sure any attempt to tamper with the coding alerts someone to your behaviour. Not just me, I might be out of town… add Bruce.”

“And Rhodey. Maybe another Avenger or two…” Tony mused aloud.

Pepper smiled thinly. “Precisely. The two of you can work on it when we get back. I assume that’s how you usually kiss and make up after a fight?”

Tony grinned over Bruce’s sputtering. “Pretty much.”

“Good. Now someone see if the jelly analysis is enough to get me out of here.”

* * *

 

Glowing green eyes stared at the sleeping figures below with malevolence from the air vent near the bed.

“Pepaasssssss” the evil remains of Barry hissed.

He let himself drip onto the floor below before reforming into the disgusting shadow of a strawberry. A loud snore stopped Barry on his way to the bed. Tony rolled over and muttered in his sleep.

The slimy ooze replaced Barry’s need for arms or legs as he made his way up the blankets to where Pepper slept.

“Tony… stop hogging the blankets.” Pepper gave him a light shove.

“M’not Peps.” Tony shielded his eyes. “Whas the light for?”

“What?” Pepper asked. “What light?”

Pepper screamed as she opened her eyes and found bright green ones staring back.

Tony was awake in an instant, throwing himself in front of her and ordering the lights on. They froze at the sight of the dripping nightmare of a fruit monster in front of them.

“Is that-“

“But he-“

Pepper rolled off the bed as Barry launched his body towards her. A gauntlet Tony had been tinkering with before bed flew to his arm, and as Barry prepared to jump off the bed after Pepper he was blasted by one of Tony’s replusor beams.

“Are you ok Pepper?” He bent over to check over her. “No juice hit you? Any reaction? How close did he get. Sh-“

“I’m fine.”  She reassured him. “Let’s maybe just… call SHIELD for clean up this time. And find an empty guest room.”

“Sure thing. Let me just- clean up a bit first.” Tony said, looking down at his strawberry-splattered shirt.

He fetched her clean slippers from the closet so that she could get out of the bedroom without stepping in jam, and then asked JARVIS to phone SHIELD as he stripped off his clothes and headed for the shower.

* * *

 

“Were those SHIELD agents?” Natasha asked as Pepper and Tony came in late for breakfast the next morning. “In hazmat gear?”

“Barry wasn’t as dead as we’d thought” Tony grimaced as he handed Pepper a mug of coffee. “He made a midnight appearance. I cooked him, but I thought we should have SHIELD clean this mess up, since DUM-E obviously missed a bit last time.”

“Tony!” Thor boomed as he exited the elevator. “The whole of the tower smells of strawberry poptarts! Is this a breakfast surprise?”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Is Barry really gone forever? I doubt it. He's one tough little strawberry.


End file.
